i just realised some things

1. wanted to title this 'back from batam'. then i realised tt i dunno how to put titles to my post.
2. i realised i nv put titles to my posts before. its always been untitled.
3. after looking around i say "where where" to myself. i dunno how to put a title.
4. give up.
5. getting old. just back from batam last night at 6pm.. went to sleep at 9.30pm... and i'm still tired!
6. didnt turn brown. sunblock really works!
7. i am gg to koala now cos i'm rambling incoherently.

our post-pre-reg pharmacist dinner treat

boss treated all of us to dinner at sushi tei at vivocity. so generous of him and i think we spent a bomb. but the most amazing thing was that he also gave us presents as a congratulatory gift - each of us got a different watch. amazed and touched. he even wrote a lil postcard for each of us. thank goodness jess hp and i arrived first to chop seat, then we realised tt perhaps we ought to get smth for him and bought him ties. if not will be super paiseh. i think its a chinese-thing. when ppl give u things u shld not be empty-handed in return. a very chinese thought. anyway. we went emergency shopping and bought him 2 ties in a pretty box. and got marks & spencers goodies for the rest too. like doggy bags. it was a good evening, joking away, more relaxed, lotsa stories. he said that our batch impresses him compared to prev batches. big happy. said smth about teamwork. i think cos we all like to play. haha. but i must say our 5 roses + thorn is quite cohesive. we hold on together thru the ardous journey. haha. looking forward to our batam trip to celebrate our end of training this weeekend. =)

timbre, johanna's farewell

went to timbre to bid farewell to johanna. tho she & em & kim came to shalom just a couple of times, still quite sad to see her go. cos perhaps she wont come back anymore. gg there to get married. to stay in Indiana. a new life. wow. anyway EIC was playing but only Jack was there. sarah was so utterly disappointed and whiny. ahha. feels like i see sarah very often this week. (sat sun mon wed). eeeeeee. haha. anyways we did a dedication for her, and EIC sang the cover of the Mr Big's oldie - Wild World as a farewell song. 'take good care'.

johanna giving me the fierce why-u-take-photo-of-me look

timbre is a nice place, very interesting, open-air, with lotsa trees shielding the place. just that we got a bit lost walking from bugis la. okay. my hand-drawn map wasnt very good either. ended up getting a bit lost ard SMU. but EIC is good, as always. a nice place to chill. tho i'm utterly pooped from Open Shop duties this whole week + no koalaing for past weekend.

well, we'll be praying for u, dearest girl. God be with u till we meet again..

today i had some pharmacist pledge ceremony briefing. got to see my class again. so happy. now we all are official p'cists!!! michelle was so hyper, and she and i were just bimboing away. that girl. i think working with her will be awfully fun. (and noisy. in fact. chaotic. hilarious.) we were just bitching about how horrible some patients are and how both of us kenna suanned cos of our cannot-make-it chinese. mich is horrible la. she said chen-tock-seng in chinese. faintsssss.... 'tock' what.. anyway... after that xq huirei sweesung and me then sat at delifrance and continued our horror stories. rough day for both of them today. can get quite tough really. when circumstances drive u up the wall and ur tolerance level is up to ur neck. uuhghghghghg... hold on pharm sisters..

spent the whole afternoon in church today, doing art and craft. my Decor Team duties. haha.. but its a day well spent. now my hands are sore. and really really tired. didnt get to sleep my weekend this time. wheah. sleep is so important to a koala.

feel excited finally having something to do. not just drifting around. saturday we went out to wreck arab street for cloth and yesterday and today we were like arts & craft session. super piah. we plan to make the bookroom look like an art gallery. so there will be this panel of dark blue glitzy paper along one wall, upon which we will hang gilded frames from the ceiling. of course having our purple organza drapes to add to the feel and poshness. if not our bookroom would look too harsh & office-like.

sounds nice right. but super tedious to make. cutting the frames from styrofoam board (got squeaky sounds) then measuring the perfect 45 degrees angle. oh faints... then covering it will gold/silver/bronze paper. test my wrapping paper skills. i love that paper. just that it looks a bit like chocolate wrappers. scotch tape, double sided tape, masking tape. then mounting it on our backing. havent done such things since SLP days. reminds me of us all sprawled onto the csc floor painting banners / packing goodie bags / making GAW trees. SLP penguins. identifiers for ethelonter and how ur name got cut off. cutely.

oh gosh i suddenly think of our MC clubroom cleanups and how hilarious carine is. and how fred goes hysterical.. oh i miss those days.

my rant:

been a busy week. quite hectic in fact. monday was fabulous and i wore my present-blouse. and i met huirei at clementi coffeeshop for an emergency mtg. tuesday i closed shop with honyen. even tho both of us still very green, we managed to close shop at 8.15, the earliest i closed shop so far. aww the nightmarish day tt i went home at 9pm. normally when u close shop thats the end of ur day cos u go home eat bathe and sleep. wednesday was another hectic day where i met xq and huirei for an emergency mtg at tcc at citylink. i love tcc. but i rem tt they sold more interesting stuff last time. rem i tried some cinnamon coffee. anyway a quick mtg with serious discussion then we realised the dateline. then all of us ran home to piah. thursday i went up to inpatient & ran ard. but i'm glad for the change in routine. tho i prefer just pressing the bell & hv patients come to me instead of running after them in the non-aircon wards. i cancelled our date with lijie for all of us to piah again. such a pity, i miss that girl.and today i am awfully touched by a great moomoo friend. friday i went shopping by myself in tampines mall. its changed so much. trying to look for a dress cos i'm tired of colour matching my clothes. then clothes must match with shoe colour some more. then if i'm in a good mood i'll also match my hair ribbon. ughhghghgh. heck la. anyhow. dont care. saturday i went out with lydia & sarah cos uncle franz has upgraded us from book-price-taggers to decoration team. haha. we were book-price-taggers since sec 3 lor. anyway its awfully tiring and awfully hot and we went round arab street looking for cloth to drape from the ceiling. to make it look class. was looking for organza (i so love organza) and bought this 2 toned blue-purple organza at an unbeatable price of $2.50... i saw it in spotlight for $9.99 lor. and the first shop we went to tried to pai-zhao at $4.50. i think we very taitai. sunday is always a relief for me. to be feed. we tried out the drapes after church. oh faints it looks like a wedding. not funny.

my week's summary. hope i'm not existing for nothing. dont worry, God has a plan for us.

helpless worthless piece of junk.

how do i comfort u. how do i shield u from ur mother's qns. how do i block ur ears from the voices around u. how do i silence the voices in ur head. how do i quieten the unrest that unsettles ur soul.

how do i stop this torment.

today in the church bulletin there was this sentence about ps 103:13. that 'we may be in misery because we have foolishly sinned and are now reaping the bitter fruits.' how true. a knife to my heart. 'but whatever it is, God is moved with compassion, and He will act to relieve us, when He sees such misery in us'. cos we are children of God. 1 john 3:1

may this be the shining light in this dark dreary path.

my heart feels light
although it is so heavy
feels like the ice around my heart has melted momentarily
nose on face

how have we suffered
how have we grown
or is our heart too sore, too numb, too dead

is He satisfied with me
have i done my best
have i stood the test
is He satisfied with me


my heart is small happy. tho i also dont know why.

what is your state of mind now

blankness, darkness, sadness
despair, disrepair
fretful, fearful, dreadful
suffering
anguish
pain

somehow the mental state affects the physical state. in WWII with those horrid nazis, alot of jews got TB not only cos of the deplorable living conditions, but clinicians found tt those who with depression had higher rates of contracting tb and also poorer prognosis. so knows the reason, my physiology escapes me.

wonder if it does really affect. why?

my throat was scratchy on fri night. i shld hv taken my vitamin c and my echinacea. then it was full blown the entire weekend. i sneezed a thousand times. now even the skin of my nose is peeling. and my lungs were so tight i think i wheezed like an asthmatic. i was thinking, did i get HFMD or some SARS-like virus. however. i didnt take MC cos its my first week closing shop, hv to investigate all those abscondees. today i had this pt who didnt even pay for his meds which cost $5. for goodness sake.

feel like banging my head on the wall.

today my voice is better. at least i'm not speaking thru my nose, and not sounding squeaky. just that i sound a bit manly. but i had a headache halfway thru the afternoon. throb throb throb.

really looked forward to gg home. but too pooped to even talk.

small light at the end of the day. wonder who came up with the icon :) Did it first come in when computers were invented? or only on the advent of web dialogue?

first of may

its a special song. from my judith glover diary, May 07

today i went for the rooster's outing. a rather last minute decision. i havent seen them for so long, the last time was when yeeng was in singapore in september. so disgusting of me. great to see the good old faces. okay we are NOT old. reminds me of those times in the clubroom when we would mug together for exams. then mika would announce "okay, its break time". then nice jiakai would be the one to get coffee and snacks, and cheek would burst into song. mao would be as usual mean and sarcastic, and spark a friendly quarrel btw lil cloud / me. crystal would giggle away with mervyn (our baby roosters). lijie would interject with a smart comment. zhenhao would just sit and smile. so many others would pop by. our csc family. how we would hv our movie screenings on the last day of the sem. and how these ppl were the ones who made being a Kwokernathan so glamourous. in the end all the csc juniors follow suit and also start staying in kwok.


thinking of kwok, i love that place. it doesnt hv dinosaurs and there are so many memories.


the aged roosters went to xiaoyun's house aka hangout@xy to play Wii. its quite amusing to watch ppl play Wii. swinging the whatever-u-call-it about to make Sonic run faster / jump higher. we played the Olympics 08. very funny how we play at gymnastics, run the track, go rowing, do high jump do long jump. how jiakai always choose to be the bimbo girl dressed in pink. (uhoh). dun underestimate him/her, today the new world record was set okay, in Hangout@xy.

xiaoyun also has a swing in her room. so envious. but then i'm likely to fall over it when i wake up.

today m was sporting a diamond ring. whoohoo. super happy for m&m. =)