here i sit, trying to study.

my papa opens his bag of gummy-sweets. (the normal name for it is gummy drops. but he insists on calling it gummeeeeee-sweets. whatever). then he use his small-boy voice to count the number of sweets he put in. so my mind goes...

the ONE-gummy-drop (high pitch voice) diagnosis of two-gummy-drop hepatitis B virus three-gummy-drop infections of four-gummy-drop the liver, otherwise known as five-six-seven-gummy-drop HBV infections, includes the eleven-gummy-drop following serology: eight-gummy-drop HBV surface antigen HBsAg, sixteen-twelve-ten-gummy-drop HBV e antigen HBeAg, and the twenty-seven-gummy-drop antibody against HBV core thirty-one-gummy-drop antigen anti-HBc. i got one hundred gummy drop (very high pitch voice)

i give up. HAHHAHAA.

last day of sch - went w pharm sisters, chemistry cousin & engin boy to eskibar. xQ, me hope it cheered and chilled u up!!! its a cool place. like really COOL. as in, chilly. the freezing room is -19deg. yup! i will never marry an eskimo. whoooohoooo. and its funny to make ppl colder - you could place cold hands round their necks / put ice in their shirts / stick the drink on their cheeks /ask them to strip / let-me-think-of-more-cold-things . next time i will do that to xQ/huirei. haha. pls go but WEAR MORE. 8 drinks but 5 of us. nice colour combi eh?shit i must stop drinking. poor little liver of mine.

semesters are ending like no ones business. already hit the end of year3, and in 3 weeks time i'm offically year4.

graduating year. polishing year.

do u know why they call it 'polishing year'? so much potential to shine, but dunno whether will shine or not. its scary when u hit this point, u realise that there is such a big world out there - u can be anyone, u can be anything. conversely u can be nothing and do nothing (which i would love to; just need to find a rich-old-man-theory). but. there's so much possibility. u may start to see it as uncertainty. possibility = uncertainty.

in the future, would we be stuck on 9-5 (read: nine-to-five as in time, not bus95. cos now we do get stuck on 95). would we be all dolled up in office attire, with our pharmacotherapy jammed up in our heads. would we be on our feet all day, hectic in a hospital, stuck in a lab or having some sales pitch at the pharmacy. there is so much possibility. tho its all been said, i think we are really living very protected lives here. when we leave our nest, albeit reluctantly, with trepidation or with newfound freedom. where will we be in one year's time? its just one more year. where will smell drain lijie xq huirei yeeng be.

resistance to change.

this is wt my pharm sis blogged yest:

Thursday, April 06, 2006

+reality hurts+ It finally sinks in. I cant write forever and there is no cure.

i do not think anyone can sense ur bewilderment, how can one just get struck by a neuro syndrome just like that. i refuse to echo that it is an incurable disease. i cant bear to see u cry. to look at ur old handwriting and cry. it took me so much not to cry too. wt is the future. we are all hurting.

i don't even know where to start to tell u how helpless we all are.

i cant believe it. (sob) my best fwen (sob) one smell (sob) also known as my best fwen one smell (sob) really did it (sob)

http://www.chloeisbad.blogspot.com/

but one smell writes really well, & even myself i laugh, albeit at my own expense. well, flip side is, its not every day that someone blogs for u. even more not everyday (ie some other day or NO day) that someone sets up a blog for u. haha faints. anyway, its just full of jealousy btw smell & my other best fwen drain. oh pls. calling him long-neck-drain in a fit of jealousy is not very nice. (but the true fact is he really does hv a long neck.) and of course creating a blog about me doesnt make u #1 best fwen again esp if the blog is about how bad i am. one smell wake up. u can just start buying me lunch or smth. that'll promote u to #1 best fwen in no time.. besides, ur empty noticeboard.. HAHA!!! just admit it.

last night i ran 6k to hawparvilla with one smell and denise. denise is nice to run with, cos she has post-run feelings & discussions too. haha. i feel v shiok now. running is therapeutic; endorphin-generating. ur mind blanks out. u get oxygen into that thick head of yours. u feel detoxed. the after glow. the rosyness.

my dear pharm sis, i dunno wt comfort i can offer. feeling so helpless and faithless, lost under the surface. i hope u can go hop hop hop again soon. we'll be here for u, and help u re-hop okie gal... huge HUG*

and i miss yeeng. she switched on her webcam for me, and she bought an ikea RUG like mine! i then hugged my rug. now i talk to my rug. and i heard her voice too. the old way she says 'hello'. her smiles that just breaks out on her face; suddenly sweetly, like how the sun shines suddenly thru a cloudy sky when it finds a peephole.

but u are just an image on a screen.