post-script (or rather, post-mighty-mao-entry)

mao is quite touched i think. he was polite to me on msn. rare. and he complained about the toot-pix with the leather jacket. i will post a more flattering one. (if mao pays me).

mika, we can rant about lloyd of parousia since mao is not ard! hehheheh!!! (most important conclusion). =)

whoooo hooo! last day of exams today... walked out at 1hr 20min... psyc is a wonderful module. whoo hoo... was thinking, its the first (and probably, only) time tt i will (and can) walk out of an exam early.. unlike our genius here.. the mighty mao... CAP 4.7... (rich man to be. make fwens with him now.)

this entry is for my senior, the mighty mao. (hehe). cos today is mao's last exam in nus!!! waa.. then he's off to the navy... forever and ever... sob. this pix was taken in july this yr, the rooster gang was at bugis shopping for a prez for cheek.. was in seiyu i think, and we made mighty mao try on this super-sei leather jacket (it doesnt look v sei here cos mao is wearing it). it looked good on the mannequin tho. haha. so mao is here putting on a gek-sei (but gek-sai) face. the leather jacket WAS so sei.

long long ago. when i was a freshie.. i still rem at the pre-camp outing eons ago.. 2003 at fish n co... mika said his name was Harry. haha. and i believed. Ethos group 4 was such a blast!!! i think that we are the RARE grp tt has stuck on for soooo long.... me lijie yeeng xQ... drain alvin bryan... such close bonds..... my dear KC & AKC, mika & mao (affectionately miKAH & hanMOH - from shicao) for which i must say my life in nus would hv been so dull without - CSC, jamX.

if not for u both, we wouldnt hv had tt rocking time in jamX, nor would i hv continued in csc. mika mao hv been soooo encouraging. every step of the way. from slp to ethelonter to vpsp. even now, i know i can run to u. (actually i am running to u, arent i? thx!) my pillars of strength. (wanna say alot of things here but words just cant form). like hv u ever felt indebted to some one? its like, i could've easily been in any other OG, than Ragnaroc, and would not hv known this lovely couple. i love mika & mao.

well, dear ppl graduate slowly and slowly.. (wt kinda sentence is tt).. and mighty mao's the first senior to leave.. will miss him in the clubrm. he's like a constant presence there. maooooooo.... tho he likes to burp alot and b mean and irritating. but still. he's the one with all the crazy absurd ideas. a talent at publicity stuff. like look at mika bday video which is like so hilarious. and the GR icons he made... hahha... mao ignites alot of laughter.... a great deal of fun to b ard with. thx for all ur (subtle) support, and for ur (very subtle) encouragement. ur caustic remarks are hilarious. yup, hate to admit it. but mao, u'll b missed.

(mao if u're reading this u better b crying by now).

the golden rooster gang. crazy. our numerous not-so-surprise parties for each other. and our vcd marathons in the clubrm (how we booked the nussu projector under 'vol workshop'.) our steamboats and potlucks and picnics. our kelong trip in august was so crazy!!! may the golden roosters continue on for ever and ever - go to each other weddings etc, retire tog and all go and stay in Lion Befrienders when we're old. we will all miss mao wont we...

mighty mao. mighty.

its been a year.

i ended exams then we flew off the next day for a month. that trip was not merely a holiday, yes, i was taken in by the beauty & tranquility of it all, but. sometimes, i feel kinda short changed tt we had to migrate back to asia. why. what if we had stayed on.. there was every reason to... my homeland of 8 years. that's where i grew up. all my memories. my childhood. a place is not just a place. & visiting it recaptured old long-forgotten times.


life is full of but-s and what-if-s.


i think migration is traumatic for a child. even now, i'm too different fm a typical asian gal. i felt so asian then, a "chinky". but here in singapore, i feel so un-asian. for one, i cant speak chinese for nuts. even if u pay me, i cant speak. i got an A at 'o' level (memory work) and then a C5 at 'a' level. and my hokkien is in smatterings; a desperate memory.


i suck for cheese. i live on cheese. even my diet's diff. think we're the only family in singapore on potatoes more than rice. like wt taogay said during lijie's potluck party, my own cooking's different - i use herbs tt ppl havent even heard of. (well, i could be a witch. herby = witch). i'm not even sure wt a braised duck is. if i marry an asian, the guy is so gonna starve.


my childhood's different. i played on stilts. i dun think anyone else can. mayb i shld join a circus. the trampoline is like in everyone's backyard. here, i bet u dun even know wt it is. i did hay. times in the hay fields with jacqui charlotte & cara. i climbed trees. i love cara's old oak. i can quote u nursery rhymes. i know tonnes. i love them. but it's often met w blank faces. i only know one chinese one- san zhi lao hu (3 little tigers) and i can do half of twinkle twinkle in chinese. so many things are different.


its funny being asian, yet un-asian.

"pharmacology pharmacology, why dost thou exist?"

"to be thy nemesis, my dear, for misery consist."


i gonna eat 100 pizzas. and sleep for 3 days.

RANDOM THOUGHTS PART II.
(still haywire firing of synapses).




1. mighty mao is very free. look wt he did for golden rooster. hahhaa. i so wanna print t-shirts for GR man..











2. i end 4 hours LATER than drain. now he taking revenge and niao-ing me. dun niao me!


3. i think i am writing in point form. all examination-fever fault. and pathology.. totally underest the amt of info.. hence allocated the day b4.. gosh.. mass panic..took one whole day to do 8 chapt.. and there's 20. and i didnt cover the last 5 chapt for ATC. ahha. took a gamble. heng. phew phew phew. i so swear to study harder next sem!!!


4. my best fwen one smell patted my head yest with a water-melon-ed hand. i dunno, but when one smell is nice, he's v v nice. like how halfway during this sem he come & ask me not to stretch. like tho he's a chow ah beng, inside, he's quite sensitive. & when he shows it, *melt*. thx one smell. =)


5. my best fwen drain is also quite best (in case he feel left out). haha. he gave me a biscuit yest. yay. useful. hahha. and yest he bought 12 packets of chow fan from arts for the clubrm gang. thx drain. u are useful. haha. more than tt. tt's wt best fwens are for.

6. there's not supposed to be point 6. supposed to end at 5. but, wanna wish my fav xQ and fav huirei... all the best for DFD and Farmacology! esp pharmacology.. gaah..

RANDOM THOUGHTS. (haywire firing of synapses).

1. F is for Farmacology.

2. contrary to popular belief, I am not a cry baby. Tho recently I cried 4 days in a row. Madness-es! But haven break record yet.. Its been so long... Since blue flower departed; for the blue butterfly. i think tt was the worst. never never.

Tue – News of yima sickness. Visit. Go home cry. scale 1.
Wed – News of departure. Scale 8. Totally cannot make it. In the clubrm w 7 guys yet I felt so alone. (but I’m surprised at their tender side… yup.. thx guys.. fully pampered w a tissue dispenser, left arm rubber, right arm rubber, neck rubber, hand holder, head patter, arm squeezer, water fetcher, kneeling on floor dunno do wt..) Really.)
Thu – Depression on mrt (haiya.) Scale 1. following little cloud’s condolences. U nv fail to touch me.
Fri – Disappointments & Dis-appointments. Scale 8. “the boi whose sms made me cry” – quoted.


3. mika party. Chwee quay somehow leaked out from this lousy plastic bag into my lap. Lousy. Damn. We had a mighty time eating tho… and I think mika was v v happy. Dunno y, but this yr’s parties, all so sweet one… (hv yet to post abt lijie’s party… backlog..) Mighty mao was so mighty – the video for mika was hilarious and extrememely well done. shichao! video was so cool.. and i miss you!!! shichao!!! u lame piece of crap... i dunno how we got thru jam x without ur motivation. in any case, miss u ard being tt piece of crap man. Our beloved mika… to me, she’s my one and only KC. Amazing lady. I owe it all to her – jam x, life in csc *amazing*, an encourager, a very good fwen. me luv mika.

4. decisions. I think being a vpsp… gotta make a lot of hard hard decisions.. ethelonter is like, how torn I am.. ppl dun b too hurt pls. Its not easy.

5. today, I had an impromptu lunch w drain! hee hee! i miss drain!!! Pounced on drain in engine.. hahha.. and he ends exam 4 hours LATER than me.. haha.. history – year 1 sem 1.. someone came to hss lib, climbed up the stairs just to spite me lor.. year 1 sem 2, year 2… been taking revenge ever since.. haha drain.. 4 hours.. haha.. (woe will be the day when I end later than drain. Meanwhile.. enjoy his kek sai face everytime I mention 4 hours.. hahah!)

Basket - whiskey cheddar, smoked cheddar, aged cheddar, port wine cheddar. Going clockwise, Harvarti cheese from Puhoi, elsberg, brie - caper & sundried tomato, gruyere, & Kapiti's jalapeno (semi-soft), aged gouda, kikorangi (triple cream blue cheese) & sainte-maure (goat's milk camembert)

recently aunty pam came, and replenished my cheese store!!! this is amazing. i opened the aged gouda today, from kapiti... and it was amazing. it tingles in the mouth. and its absolutely bursting with flavour. now that is wt is called REAL CHEESE. so i cut up the block of aged gouda and i am so gonna eat a slab a day.. as you chew, it actually has tt fizzy effect. that is cheese to PERFECTION. its like each molecule gives out an amazing flavour.

how can anyone eat processed cheese. so disgusting. it comes sliced in some pretty plastic (cool description quoted fm some jooch recently... cant rem. recall someone trying to b sarcastic). anyway. processed cheese is screwed. its not real. its like breast implants.


its evil. just like taogays. how can anyone eat taogays. they are poisonous too. horrid green smelling things.


back to my aged gouda. my 7kg supply that i brought back from new zealand was gone by june... even with rationing.. my Bel Paso and walnut & chives.. cos we went to the little cheese shops along the way, the sampling! ended up buying 100g of every kind.. and of course Mercer cheese. who can ever ever miss that. the ultimate.

For Yima, our dearly departed Touch Seniors elderly

ler mian huan lo liaw, bo kang khor, bo chuan. wah lang kah liaw siang sin ler ke ay ewee kah hoh, ler ay hwa heei. roses are in the sunshine. zhu aye ler, yima.




Sarah McLachlan


Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it okay
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight


In the arms of the Angel
far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the Angel;
may you find some comfort here.


You're in the arms of the Angel;
may you find some comfort here.

i wanna bitch about pharmacology! its bitchable!

if u wanna feel sucky, read this- dun skip. read it out LOUD & do the freaking spelling. then tell me the freaking classes and the freaking derivation, freaking mech of action, freaking route of admin, freaking distribution, freaking excretion, freaking metabolism, freaking spectrum of activity, freaking adverse drug reactions, freaking precautions & freaking indication.

20. Penicillins- benzylpenicillin: penG, phenoxymethylpenicillin: PenV, ampicillin, amoxicillin, piperacillin, cloxacillin. Cephalosporins-parenterally- cefazolin, cefoxitin, cefuroxime, ceftriaxone, ceftazidime, ceftipime, cefpirome. Cephalosporins-oral- cephalexin, cefaclor, cefuroxime axetil. Carbapenem- imipenem, meropenem. Monobactam- aztreonam, azactam. Oxapenem- claculanic acid, sulbactam, tazabactam. & non-beta-lactam- vancomycin. (the poor left out dude)

21. tetracycline- doxycycline, minocycline, demeclocycline. aminoglycosides- streptomycin, neomycin B, paromomycin, kanamycin (kanna sai), amikacin, gentamicin(the gentleman), tobramycin(his best fwen), netilmicin.

22. macrolides- erythromycin, clarithromycin, azithromycin. dunno-wt-the-fish: clindamycin, chloramphenicol, linezolid, fusidic acid.

23. metronidazole: 4 entamoeba histolytica. fluoroquinolones- ciprofloxacin, ofloxacin, levofloxacin. polymyxins- B & E.

24. anti-TB drugs (ah, finally a freaking aim). 1st line: streptomycin, isoniazid, rifampicin, pyrazinamide, ethambutol. 2nd line: ethionamide, amikacin, ofloxacin, cycloserine.

25. sulphonamides- sulphisoxazole (stupid ox), sulphamethoxazole (stupid me-ox), sulphadiazine (think diaz), sulphadoxine (think dox), sulphasalazine (sala-sala), sulphacetamide. trimethoprim. pyrimethamine. 4 UTI - nalidixic acid and nitrofurantoin.

still got chapter 26, 27. 28. 29. 30. 31.

screwed.

feeling so happy. i must b DELIRIOUS. study until MAD. fwens make a diff- seeing drain & one-smell today cheered me up. drain is stretched. drain. drain. take care. stay alive. and one-smell is so crappy still. haha. i had 2 lunches.. with xQ, huirei. crap session again. 2nd lunch at munchies w yeeng angela weiyao. i'm gonna marry an italian opera singer. (conclusion over lunch). haha. & jooch wrote me a postcard. cheek. cheek. cheek. i still haven got a postcard fm u! mean! if u dun, we will all 'forget' u! & kkl and i settled proj c.a.n. whoooo hoooo. (still feel huggable). good ending to a bad day. rainbows.

i hv nice big eyes. (5 fwens said so). and thick skin (6 fwens. grr). and sd is funny. his keyboard is screwed. he types this on msn "sshe ssellss sseasshellss on the ssea sshore" & "sshitzz. want to type blog addressss osso hard." & "llllipopss". HAHHA. hey is there some formulation that is in lollipop form? (checking). fentanyl citrate. strong agonist of the opioid analgesic.

analgesia!!!!! tt wt we need!!!!

at Makarora, a name-less river. was being shutter-crazy as nemo drove along. so took a pix of this river as we drove... at first glimpse, nothing much... colours and swirls grew more and more amazing. little did we know tt it would turn out so beautiful in the end... so wild and free.

progressione

what a beautiful word.

today, 3 fwens msde me v happy. finally ppl running for proj c.a.n! almost had a fainting spell in the clubrm, cos jooch and quek were like self-teasing.yes. no. on. off. yes. no. i cannot take the tension, felt i was blushing cos they were trying to talk like i was not there. ya. thx guys. it relly worked. haha. wanted to escape, & was unglam wearing one zena-shoe (note: one) when xq was on the ph. sounding polite and demure. right. & quek's so funny. he stutters at me & does the butt-slapping thing (quote fm kkl). & jooch. gonna b a really great awesome fwen. confidante. so i got the best news like tt - w one zena-shoe. great. & i really felt faint. cold hands and all. & i feel like hugging them.

hope you understand

why do you appear when i so want you not to. finding it hard to even be civil. forced smile. forced conversation. i'm a great actress, you may think everything's okay but its freaking not. if only i could be a better friend ; and ask to you whats wrong.
but i dont want to know. i dont want to hear.

need you to stay away from me. ~linkin park~

that would be greatly appreciated.

the end of my self-declared pre-public holiday yest...just reached test 10!!! 2 more tests to go!!! whoo hooo!!!!! after the horrible horrible med chem test, us 3 pharm sis went to arts to stone and slack and bitch and bicker. naaah. it was fun. havent really spent 2 hours over lunch just talking crap w them. i miss my pharm sis!!! (i know they're reading this. haha. are u touched?)

actually it was not crap, it was LIFE issues. like how we wun end up job-less. like how nice lee how sung is. & how we can end up marrying doc. and the whole debate abt blogging. they like to read ppl's blog. i dun like- i feel i'm intruding into ppl privacy.. but then again, they published it for ppl to read. sometimes i also dunno how to filter my blog, i dun want it to b read, yet.. i blog for myself. and debate over a roxy skirt - huirei said its nice, xQ say like apron.. (more inclined to believe xQ, haha). and contact lens. and swimming. and pathology- 1 in 4 ppl get cancer.. its so easy, just a single cell!!! scared!!! studying patho is depressing.. so many things can go wrong.... totally everything under the sun. so shiok to just sit there @ arts canteen and crap. my fav pharm sisters (do u feel the warmth? haha.)

then came my puky-afternoon. i really really really conclude tt taogays are poisonous. even the smell permeates thru. poison.

at night, i stayed back just for the heck of it. no, no mtg or anything. (finally). just for the heck of it. yeeng was sad. yeeng. dun b sad. *green hug. me luv u. dun live regrets. they dun work. no regrets now, they only hurt. we went to some nice part of yih, and watched squirrels and sang some songs. reminded yeeng of the time we went to singapore river and sang and stoned. i wanna go singapore river & get stoned. (stoned = drunk but i dun wanna b drunk). did my bad rendition of rock songs. sang all i knew. hard to do tt w a sad fwen. i really wanna b a rock star. made up for the earache by gg to a nice time in munchies. like. i cant rem life without munchies. (not tt its v fabulous, but..). well. phrase of the day - if u cant get to orchard, get to munchies.

and yeeng knocked some sense into me. u've said all tt can be said. its time to end it. as of now. release.

non penserò voi più

ode to the taogay:

the most digusting
the most taogay-smelling
the most wormy-looking
the most malicious
the most upsetting vege.

they are poisonous.


taogay taogay how i hate thee
whiff your smell, thus i flee.

miserable. (s0b). almost puked today. (sob). thx lixian for being nice to me. (sob). havent felt so utterly rotten inside. rotten is another word to describe taogay. putrefying mass. think i had something wrong with the green tea (dun drink Yeos!). so had that horrid throat feeling. coupled w a taogay smell in e clubrm (unusually stronger today, think it was weekend taogay. or mayb a mutant breed. or mayb they are just PLAIN POISONOUS).

and i was mugging smth to do w emesis, so felt so much puky. vomit. retch. retch but nothing come out. if only. i would feel better. lixian said the worst part is when u try to puke but nothing comes out. (sob). i feel the worst part is when u taste the bile. then it gets to u. like a shot right back to a bolt of blue. BILE.

so bitter it makes u wanna puke more.

miserable.

wish to get you out of my system.