realised i havent been blogging for ages. so hang on for some verbal diarrhoea.

firstly, would like to bitch about the AGV; this machine in ttsh that would hide round corners, suddenly zoom at u to try to knock u down and kill u. mingli mich and i even when rushing to the wards, we would pause ard corners, look ard tentatively for it, then continue rushing.. quite cartoon to see 3 gals in a hurry then unanimously pause. we even try to jisiao it by jumping in front of it then it would say "please make way for agv.. beep beep" something like that. hospital amusements. that bad shundeng. haha. here's wt i ripped from shundeng...

Oh, the AGV (Automatic Guided Vehicle) is this red, box, robot, vehicle thingy that runs ard TTSH carrying the food cabinets. Problem with it that is quite low, so you can't really see it if it suddenly dashes past you. And its makes turns reeeaaaallllyyyy sssslllllooooowwwwllllyyyy.... And with all the turns at TTSH, no wonder they start 2 hours before lunch, so that the food gets to the patients by lunch. Also kinda explains why hospital food kinda sucks. Cuz it was cooked long ago and was fermenting inside the cabinets while the robots go "beep beeep beeep" with purple flashing at the corners. Oh, and Chloe nearly got run over by one. A pity. Heh.

my ttsh gang of gals.. crazy crazy crazy at IP!!!

goofing around in Inpatient Pharmacy. haha. playing with lactulose, of all things.
we are all hard at work. i dunno wt xq is doing in tt auntie pose. haha. so cute this xq. and my skirt looks nice!!! the lefthandside almost reach the floor. haha.

the ttsh gang... 6 weeks!!! (like giving birth)

my group with kkk, our preceptor. she is sooooooooooo nice! i seem to b the only one hugging her. oops.
pharm sisters in xQ's favourite pose. huirei refuses to b part of this. hah!

pharm sisters acting coy. look at xQ's face. oh faints.
me holding man's best fwen - viagra. ED!!! ED!!! ha.
me and xQ acting demure. had to bribe huirei to take this pix for us. haha. (tired eyes)
my crazy group for 6 wks, mingli and mich and me!!! thx gals i luv u!!! madness!

flip bnf! flip mims! flip dih! haha! faints.

ragnaroc

group 4

mika & mao's lineage

ethos camp 2003

ragnaroc at settlers!!!

actually tho its been a while since we met up.. its always amazing. we recollect the time when we were freshies.. the most wonderful frightnight ever. how we went out EVERYDAY after the camp. the 3 chalets we had. the closeness. the crazy everyone-wear-camp-shirt to celeb bday. we were so close. cya guys at EveEve again!!! drain will organize. haha!

famously the most bonded grp of ethos camp - its us!

ragnaroc!!!

me and fav crystal on day 5 of camp (her damn shag face). and my 1hr sleep. faints. old.
me and kkl the emcees for ethelonter finale. we damn old. haha. my leg looks nice here. hair sucks tho the wind blow like no one's business. so many ppl luff at my hair.
us on talentime night. i ran down to the meelee after work. (i am outstanding) its so fun!!! just jumping ard & swinging in cirles, doing kallang waves & trains & london bridges. everyone was sooo high!!! me and the groupless.. zQ the apd, bryan the loggy, fwed the apd, mer the pd, meitoon the councillor i/c... everlasting-wind who ran over to form a huge circle. so drunk!!! oh faints... i love camp!!!

ethelonter III

i am so overwhelmed!!!!

tho i just crashed in on cluedo night, on thu ran from work to TH to give a brief SP talk then ran back again.. and crashed in on fri night, spent a crazy time dancing & hugging & kicking can-can dance & singing/shouting / trying to sing e chinese song, dancing in circles during talentime, not sleeping on fri night cos crazy grp7 had to un-log back at nus (so fun un-logging; 3 cheers for bryan han!), and yelling my heart out on sat morn to break the camp (thx mer fwed and zq for tt honor!)

i love it i love it i love it! i feel it! the ethelonter spirit is soooooooooo strong this year!!! i cant describe how it feels.. oh faints. u know, to stand on the table and hear cheers roaring from group to group, to see a whole crowd of shagged out faces tt are delirious with lack of sleep and joy, its AMAZING!!! its my csc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dun even know where to begin my thankyous, for its THANKS to ALL of YOU!!! oh faints!!!

MERVYN!!! my pnevma freshie, i feel like a grandmamma i am soooo proud of u!!! nv ever ever thought u'll b the camp PD when u were my freshie!!! goodness!!! u never know!!! u do pnevma proud!!! grandfather eejay, alex, lionel crystal (pnevma!!!) all very proud of u!!! faints!!! and FWED (as the apd) !!!!!!!! kkl and i and fwed (as the vpia) are very proud of u too!!! i think if i was in camp tog with u for 6 days EVERYONE WOULD GO RAVING MAD. we already so mad. faints!!! hug!!!! the prog were WONDERFUL, thanks to all the prog ICs too!!! half a yr of hard work and nagging by fwed, my poor prog ICs! haha! but its worth it right!!! and ZQ & MEITOON!!! without you, the camp would not b so smooth, always working behind the scenes.. esp to meitoon, u are like the 3rd apd, always encouraging and jioing ur councillors .. reminding them of the dates, the numbers, wt to bring, everything, everyone is soooo grateful to u!!! and zhenQin!!! our forever so modest zQ!!! u are zai!!!!!!!!!!!! u work so quietly behind the scenes, u are indispensible, so responsible., hug hug hug... ok stop blushing zQ, we all love u!!!!!!!! and to kkl yes my kkl.. for ur neverending support.. for all those latenight calls and the hard decisions about ethelonter... i will never forget tt, kkl. thanku for all your wisdom (age-acquired), thankyou for guiding me.. thankyou for pulling thru with me!!! hug hug hug!!!!

and my councillors.. thankyou thankyou thankyou... for all ur time, ur voices, ur loving/hateful support for ur KCs and AKCs.. without u guys, the camp would b nothing!!! ethelonter is my biggest SP, and i am soooooo happy that everyone had a GREAT FANTABULOUS time! its so touching to read all the tributes, like u all are still yelling away, still loving ethelonterIII and every minute of it!!! u know, to see how touched mervyn and fwed were, moved to tears at the end of the camp.. and tho zQ didnt show it, (he the man). u know mer's breakcamp speech, really from his heart, usu mer chair meetings only know how to say VERY GOOD VERY GOOD... but u know, its sooooooo touching!!!!!!!!! i know, i know, how very proud mer fwed and zQ are of ethelonterIII and the reward u councillors give, from group 1 2 3 4 5 6, and 7 !!!!! from the old birds who flew back, i know, this half yr of wor k is all very worth it! may the ethelonter spirit continue this legacy!!!!!!

thankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love all of u!!!!!!!!!

i love all of u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my csc !!!!!!!!!!!! =) =) =)

for ah por

for the past 3 weeks, my elderly from touch lay in ward5, bed 40. i can almost walk there blindfolded. its no fun learning about NG tubes & the next wk, someone u know is on it. its no fun looking at IMRs when u know how much the patient is suffering. sometimes i wonder, we learn so much, wt purpose is there..

A week ago, I could still hold her crinkled hand, to feel it gently in mine. I can still picture her, in that bed, her nodding and telling me ‘you’re here again’. And how I would blabber in my halting hokkien, but she would understand me somehow. How she would giggle and smile when lixian and I squabble and tease. And as we turn to leave, how she would lift her hand weakly in a wave; her eyes following us as we step away.

Its especially hard, since I would see her everyday, pop by during lunch or when I’m doing ward rounds, and making my way back to her bed after work again. I think it’s a blessing that I got TTSH for my attachment; I could pop by twice a day. Yet sometimes I think that makes it especially difficult to let go; to see her deteriorate over the 3 weeks of hospitalization, to see her racked by coughs, to be put on respirators, drips and tubes, to see her spirits sink day by day. We always speak of ‘when you get better we’ll bring you to the park on level 3’ or ‘when you go home you can drink all the barley (her favourite) you want’. But now all these just echo falsely in my mind.

You blame yourself for the things you could have done, you should have done, but you didn’t. I regret bitterly for not doing a detour to see her on her last Friday. Who knew that over the weekend she would spiral downward so fast. My blood ran cold on Monday morning when I saw her. As I told her not to worry, she gave a feeble ‘hor’. When I next came at lunch, she was unconscious till the end.

That Monday night, the greatest gathering of our Touch volunteers came, rallying together for support, encouragement, tears and grief. Everyone had been turning up at all times of the day the past 3 weeks, sporadically, and now was the time. We huddled against the wall, a sober solemn crowd, getting drinks, giving each other hugs, pats on the back. Yes, there is comfort in numbers.

We all loved her, and in that love, we are strong, even in our shared grief. We are strong, for each other.

week 4

day 1 @ general surgery

alot of painkillers. it was quite a day cos we followed the wound nurse.. she is sooo professional and brave. we saw her clean a stoma, and it had faeces still oozing out. its hard not to feel squeamish. and professional cos it took us alot to pretend as if nothing is happening if not e patient will feel bad. so we pretended like it was nothing.. i gripped my notebook. oh faints. and the wound nurse just talks on and on, plucking on the pus and dead granulation like nothing. admire her guts man. the old lady, i feel so sorry for her. she waved goodbye.

the 2nd case was this old man with a diabetic foot who had gangrene until we could see the bone. as she plucked at the granulation, it started to bled, which was good cos it meant revascularization has occured. but the sight was gory.

the 3rd case was this guy who had a pustule ard the anal area which became septic and became deeper, & deeper & deeper. it was so deep. he excretes via a thick tube tt just sticks out of tt wound. yet he was cheery, and said in hokkien 'walao missy so many ppl see me i paiseh'. but it was gross. bengli couldnt take it & left..

takes alot to be in wound care, tt's all i can say man.

day 2 @ orthopedic

we did osteoporosis. all i can say is tt the -dronate family is complicated. esp the counselling of admin. oh faints

day 3-5 @ DIS & indept day

more crap. and had my pharm sis xQ and huirei tog with me!!! haha. drove everyone mad by gg 'hui Wei' in hi pitch voice w xQ. so fun. heehee. doing the DIS worksheet & dumb chinese translation... and finding ans tog, sharing wt eva ans we hv, snatching each other DIH. haha.

so grateful to huirei who helped me translate tamoxifen... really. i was so upset on wed; felt so helpess and dumb cos i cant construct a proper PIL in chinese... thx dear gal, i really appreciate it. and to xQ who showed alot of empathy and also offered to help me (but huirei is really v gd in chinese & even re-did xQ's. xQ made a face at her). i love my pharm sisters. next we we're at outpatient tog!!!

week3

day1 @ general medicine ward

febrile neutropenia. what's that? faints. so we slogged thru journal articles & therapeutic uses of G-CSFs; compared filgrastim and lenograstim. what became just one slide in our lecture notes has now come to life. and haunts us. we also did liver cirrhosis and oesophageal varices. which i slogged thru the article. compared somatostatin and octreotide. i think u dunno wt i am talking about.

anyway, v excitingly we got to see a warfarin counselling. to this A-class patient who was quite fussy.. and it took like half an hour. warfarin oh warfarin. one cannot be too careful with this drug.. so many precautions. just realized tt it is our responsibility to go thru everything with the patient, cos he prob wun realise the significance / our fussiness. oh oh! warfarin in chinese is hua-fa-ling. haha. like shao-lin or smth.

day 2 @ independant day

did alot of catching up - reading all those articles.. and my grp - mich bengli (aka idle-weiss) & cannie. we went mad. well, leave 4 crazy girls gg crazy over journals and articles. they'll spew quite abit of crap out. haha. havent laughed like tt for ages. mich, u are almost mad! thx gals!!!

day 3 @ mixed ward

we saw 2 cases of suicide by paracetamol poisoning. btw, u need to take 30 tablets in order to be poisoned. this guy took 20+. too bad. and the other case was more complicated with sleeping pills and unidentified drug. just makes u wonder why ppl wanna die this way. then we did vaccines for the rest of the day - i think flu vaccines are useful. but e public doesnt seem aware of them. actually, the public isnt aware of much. so much for healthcare here..

day 4 @ general medicine ward

did a difficult case scenario.. this poor guy who had DM, acute gout, hi cholesterol but low TG, hypertension, and goodness knows wt else. on aspirin and insulin and metformin and goodness knows wt else. haiya so complicated. so we argued/discussed/fought over wt treatment regimen & got confused with the fibrates and statins therapy. oh faints. sooo complicated. and ended up as polypharmacy. the 'omeprazole' fight. haha. the end.

day 5 @ cardiovascular ward

yes the nicest preceptor of all. asks us qn, but not so demanding & gives u answers to qn. v nice. and she even took time after work to send us up to the wards after 6. did alot of GTN stuff and antiplatelets. a huge headache was the table in heartfailure medications. like wt we learnt in pharmaco, now we know wt is firstline, and it doesnt seem as bad as wt it makes it out to b while studying for pharmaco. i wanted to puke then. now, i see the rationale. she's a very zai pharmacist, cos CVM is not an easy field! in fact, the past 3 wks, the satellite pharm hv common characteristics:

• they walk SUPER fast. (thinking of the time we had to RUN to keep up with t.m.)
• they walking BNFs
• they are walking DIHs
• they are walking MIMs. how to rem brandnames like tt..
• they are even walking dosages
• they know all drugs inside out
• they dun get confused as to which ward at which time on which floor
• they dun get confused in the satellite as they grab the med (i pack one, they pack 3)
• they can just pluck out files and rem the case notes immed
• they can manage to ask qn which we hv always ans with an 'erm'
• simply. they are ZAI.

week2 @ inpatient pharmacy

see how time flies. IP was packing packing packing, filling scripts and getting familiarised with the medicines. now i can visually recognise a few. happy! we were told tt its impt for suicide cases.. who else can ID the med but us? faints. and of course, getting to know more abt parenterals and inj tt our inpatients are on. yes our iv Rocephin / iv omesac so so popular. and our 7 omeprazole / 10 omeprazole / nexium / augmentin / flumicil etc... hurrah for pre-packs!!! smth interesting was the influenzae vaccine tt i packed, and it was tog with pneumococcal vaccine.. dunno why i rem tt combi, but last wk when preceptor asked, we were able to ans just cos i packed it last wk.. direct application coming to life.. yup. learning with understanding; FINALLY.

of course there were the packing mistakes.. when they call out 'pink tag'; heart skips a beat - wrong strength, paste label wrong usu. on feet the WHOLE day cos running up and down; feet paining till infinity.. by far the most physically tiring of all.. but it gets us familiar.