i'm fed up. fed up of having to squeeze on the bus and arrive in a dishrivelled mess everyday. fed up of having aching feet, fed up of being screamed at just because different people tell me different things. fed up of having rushed lunch, fed up of travelling so far so early everyday. fed up of not having my pharm sisters around, so utterly displaced from my life now. fed up of being alone in my struggles. fed up of spending yet another weekend alone.

well well

this spells the end of the 2 day orientation and 2 week induction period.. tmr i am going to i/p proper. i think i can only expect, and mentally prepare myself for harder things...(for the lack of a word! oh!) the past week in o/p has been super busy, and has the added stress of patient contact. beginning to wonder if i dun learn to love my patients, how will i provide them the optimal care, and how will i ever find satisfaction in my job? they are not patient patients at all.. so many times i am met with hostility and fedupness. and still must maintain my plastic smile. and try not to take it personally. easy to say, hard to do, when the person at the other end is screaming at u as u struggle to help them with drug queries etc... and i held up for a week until today. thank you jiat for being around. well, u kinda had no choice as u were also thrown into o/p with me hahhaa. but i loved having u ard the past 2 wks tog, and wheah for the rest of our preceptorship we're separated.. yeeng do u know jiat can also talk in a happy-sunny-day voice?

anyway today i bought contacts. hah. shld not b splurging. took me ever so long just to get them on!!! in total i took them on and off 4 times, and it took me 20mins. the optometrist (who i have been gg to since pri sch) is just so nice. then jooch told me he took ONE hour. and in the end they ask him to go home and practice. then he tried for 45min at home in the toilet and he say his mum thought he died in there. haha. i think his eyes are too small.

yest i went to MPSH to get my grad stuff. whoa. really alot of gowns. and starting to feel super excited. and i think the hat looks damn cock la. but then, just look at the Masters hat. even more cock. looks like the ice pillow pack u put on ur head when u have a headache.

well, tmr, new phase, gg for bfast with NUH gang at 8am. actually its a complimentary bfast that we havent redeemed since day 1. thru all our woes tog, i am glad of this bunch... and glad of my peripheral supporters like yeeng. & pharm sisters & lijie... hee. and main supporter joochbear. and disappearing supporters like ONE SMELL. and everyone else who sees this rant, hang on, if u nd to hang on, let go, and go crazy at the Great Singapore Sale..............i havent bought my stuff

hee!!! i got an ecard from YEENG!!! and its so cute.. this lil ladybug is walking ard the ecard!!!ladybugs are special to yeeng and me. hee. cos yeeng is like a ladybug. and we both say "ladybug" in high pitch voices.. LADEEEEEEEEEEE-BUG!

ladybug walking! hee.. its lil legs moving!

and the lil ladybug climbed its way up to a pwetty flower! hee. see i managed to capture ladybug standing up (i had to view this card 5 times ok..haha)

and then ladybug sat on her back and sit and admire the sun! hahhaha. reminds me of smth.. gazing..

then as u read the card the lil legs keep moving. AHHHHH. yes yeeng it looks like u. it has eyes wide apart and it has a wide smile. HAHAHHAA. me love yeeng!

my first wk of work, and i am pooped..

day 1 already, got bombarded with 9 projects.. i think they are trying to give us mental preparation.. tues got more projects, so much so i lost count already... dun wanna count, heart pain.. every rotation, will hv at least 3 projects... on top of discussion sessions, daily workload, and take-home studying.. 1st day of work we went home at 7.15pm. suppsosed to be 5.30.... cos a 1h talk by Mr. __ became 3h. faints... but can see that he is really passionate. and he use alot of proverbs. keep feeling like laughing 'thin line between success & failure. that is belief'. faints... really got alot of proverbs..

WHEAH... at first spirits quite high, then at the end of tuesday we start singing the sad-violin-music song.. all of us feeling quite doomed, but if others made it, so will we... my gang for the next 9mths.. suffering tog.. do hope that we will all pull thru.. cos it really is a steep learning curve.....

i saw xq on thurs cos i went to buy the BNF.. so relieved somehow to see her, and looking forward to next sat when i can be with my pharm sisters again.. to shop!!!! (hope still got strength)...they also got alot of work... and we whine to each other via email... so happy to get their email.. so i think i shld enjoy my Induction Period cos it is supposedly the most senang where we just get familiarized with the processes.. i must enjoy!!! (at least no one pops next to us & ask about the dose of some drug.... yet....) as for now, its just packing (made alot of dumb mistake then Aunty scold), knowing the routine & peak periods.. being scared when answering the ph / calling doc to chk prescription... standing all day from 8.30 - 5, then after tt always delay till 6+ then go home.. sigh. sooooo tired..

first day of work supposed to be a milestone in my life.. & it kinda was, cos of the pep talk, & setting some goals for the next 9mth... on monday jooch keep screaming at me via sms to wake up. haha that jooch! and many many ppl smsed me too.. Thank you all my fwens!!! lijie fav crystal mika xq hr smell kkl ya, really first day of work, welcome to working life. yeeng called me on tues morn.. so sweet of her. we whined together. hee.. ME LOVE YEENG!!!! just tt i hv this sinking feeling that this is working life + slogging for viva & proj + studying.. faints.. anyway, i got lost for half an hour wandering ard in the wards trying to locate... medicine late.. faints.. really hopelessly lost. i need a big nose to help me find my way. jooch says his nose is big, and functions like a radar. his nose tells him when ppl are coming / sms-ing him. haha.

my notes are all over the place. and i already have 5 notebooks - one calendar diary, one admin affairs, one for talks, one for drugs, one for computer functions.... faints... i'm really in a mess.. wheah.....

ok. enough whining. maybe i am more positive than i sound. but even being super shag, and missing my pharm sisters, i shld not be sulky and grumpy.. yeeng says sulking will give wrinkles.. AHHHH.. cannot. *stay happy!!!!* (screams at myself. delirium.).

try to sleep now, close ur eyes,
soon the birds will stop singing,
twinkling stars, all shining bright,
they will be watching u all night.
all the things you enjoy, on this beautiful day.
all your toys, all your friends,
will be waiting for u to play

try to sleep now, close ur eyes,
try to think of tml
all the stars, wish u goodnight,
so i m switching off the light.
one more hug one more smile,
kiss u once kiss u twice

i'll be here.. forever,
try to sleep now and close your eyes

my last week of holidays..

hmm. restful. that is how i would describe it.. and tho i STILL have not done many things tt i would hv liked to do, like:

• finish the lil book for yeeng
• paint smth on canvas
• clear my clothes cupboard*
• clear my 4yrs of notes and shit*
• finish making my graduation scrap book with mama
• go orchard many times & buy lotsa clothes

(*) means MUST do.. not like-to-do.. argh.... i need one more week!!!

but nevermind. oh well.. it was a quiet week, monday gg to sch to wash tents with the rovers.. which was fun cos really sit down and talk cock while the tents dried.. monday was also a tender day with joochbear.. reaffirming one another.. not to be overlooked, very happy..

i went to visit my fav pharm sis for lunch at the yummy yummy chicken rice.. heng i arrived one hour early, cos they were let off for lunch super early.. faints.. timing so erractic.. suddenly it struck me then that huirei and xq are really gg to be AWAY from me.. they are there, i am here.. wheah... i am gg to miss them very much. chances are best we meet once a fortnight or so, its not gg to be the same again... i miss my pharm sisters. *high pitch wheah-sound*. then i went to paint banner for our grad dinner.. talk cock sing song again..

the rest of the days was just spent slacking, doing nothing much in particular.. i realise, wed night is a very nice time to watch tv. got my fav korean serial followed by a chinese travel show, then benedict goh serial then my Planet Earth documentary.. grand total of FOUR hours nonstop tv. hee...completed 4 pages of scrap book with mama, spending hours on paper patterns, ribbons and colour coordinations. uuuugggggghhhh.

friday night out with the roosters, and we ate alot!!! there is thiss steamboat place in bugis which was sooo poorly ventilated and sooo noisy, we were talking like retards cos the conversation got repeated 3x. faintsssss.. but the company was gd, and we ate and ate and ate. normal steamboat stuff. but this place got an immense variety of mushrooms. haha. and alot of laughing too...and i ate and ate and ate such that i forgot to take photos. haha. later on we adjourned to the bugis macD cos our groups simply too big. and mao got forced to treat us again. cos mika insists that he got too much $ but no time to spend it. haha. faintss.... and we did some serious talking then, about careers, life, travel.. everything.. and poor jk got alternately scolded by mika & crystal when he innocently asked if i missed jooch. hahaha.. so poor thing!



the Travellers cheek lijie huixin mingwei also brought goodies to share ard.. and cheek brought this floppy chocolate.. that was very yummy, but so melted that when u loook at it from the side it just flops down. haha. chk out jiakai's can-this-chocolate-really-be-eaten face..

the roosters are a really special bunch of fwens, its amazing how, tho we seldom hv gatherings, but when everyone gathers it like we just met yesterday.. talk cock sing song like no ones business.. even tho we seldom meet, u know that they are there, and they really do care. like mika, who sent me 5 smses at 3am a few weeks back, just to say hallo. u know, that kind of heartwarming thing. that u walk away from nus & csc, happy tt u hv fwens like these.. roosters + my MC... really a wonderful grp of fwens who never fail to laugh every 5 minutes.. =)

this picture which cheek developed n brought along really caused alot of laughter... laugh until no sound. i nv realised its so funny too... hahhaha.. cos 3 of them look like lil kids... SOOOO cute.. why they pose so cutely, hahhaha.... faints.. lijie likes me to blog about her. haha. i shall say that i find it a relief to have her, mika and crystal ard. cos they are SOOO funny.. and their happiness just radiates out to everyone ard them.. with cheek adding in his grumpy funny comments, jiakai giving the oomph and mao being sarcastic.. and everyone else zhenhao claudine huiling mingwei huixin adding to the synergy... just seeing them yest makes me happy.. all starting work tog, into uncharted territories tog.. =)

i think the roosters would hv laughed even more jialat if they had seen this photo.. the original initial one. hahaha... conclusion: americans dunno how to help ppl take photo..

ok. ONE more day of holiday... wheeah....

the Navy Open House.. with our tour guide Mighty Mao (who looks quite shocked in this picuture)

here we are at the expo.. every GIRL got a pamphlet from a guy who said he only gives girls pamphlets. i went to box him cos he missed me out. walking in front with mao. do i look like a guy?? raaaaaaaa...




here we are, waiting for the ride on mao's boat. look at fav crystal's hair! haha! cos of mao, we are the first to take the cruise. heehee. feel so priviledged.. mao's boat is called the Mine Counter Measure Vessel. haha. ask me what his boat is tmr, and i'll forget..


i dug this grey pants out from my wardrobe. haha. long time no wear pants. been wearing skirts. i think i nv wear pants for 1.5years. but today must wear pants cos i rem last time i went navy open hse must climb up and down narrow stairways. and there's always a nice gentleman to help u off the staircase. and they look so good in uniform! if u wanna give him an eye sore then u wear skirt.



mao got cut on his arm. mika is pampering him. look at mao's happy face. this maoster.

finally we went on the boat for the boatride! mao was being laughed at, cos mao on duty tmr, yet still come. he got scolded 'keesiao' many times. haha. mao misses navy. haha. faints.. this is also an MCMV, we had to jump from mao's boat to this boat. but on one end, got 5 navy men to push u over. and on the other end, got another 5 navy men to catch u. but under ur legs as u jump, is just the sea. THE SEA. and the 2 MCMVs move apart rhythmically as the waves roll. very good. i jumped.

another ragnaroc senior helped us take this photo. he so sweet, brought his papa mama on the boat also. haha. mao and him are neighbouring MCMVs. mao look so happy here, cos he is relieved he no nd to help drive the boat. (your turn tmr mao. haha)

us posing on the MCMV. damn nice la. the wind is super shiok. and the sun so hot, the sky so blue. happy...
the MCMV is a special craft (says mao) cos it searches for mines on the sea bed. hence it is not a fast moving craft, but it very agile and able to maneuver at sharp angles. here they gave us a warning that the craft is gg to make a sharp turn, and see... those white waves were the direction we were travelling about 5 seconds ago.. faints.. so sharp turn. we held on tightly. thats why u dun see us floating in the water.

we went to visit mao's cabin. and joochbear called me. haha. but cannot hear him cos so echo-y. mao's cabin is an officer's cabin. and is considered spacious already! his cabin is.. nice. bunkbed. cos we went to the other men's room, and its like many many triple bunkbeds. faints... super utilize the space. (even the staircases, they are more like ladders than staircases. trauma at every descent.) and the bedsheets are PINK. haha. mao has nice fwens. they give us drinks. but i think they nv see girls for a long time.

this is me with the frigates in the background. so nice and sunny. and the sea is so blue. and we got sunburnt. but photos all look very nice & cheery...



this is.. err.. Landing Ship Tank. at my last tour, the navy guy told me its also known as Lao Sai Tank cos there will be a lil boat called the Fast Craft Unit that will shit out and u can ride it... they really decor with flags. damn nice la. but i think the colour very drab..

this boxy thing here is the frigate. its ugly. but on radar, it appears as a lil fishing boat. so, being ugly, its "excusable". and its super toa... those men in the pix below, on the left are the famous Naval Divers. haha (capitalise them). they wore shorts, and mao was laughing at them. and at every announcement for their demonstation, mika was waiting for the announcer to say "now shall be the performance by our very own naval divers.. they shall.. take off their shirts."

if that really happened u will see every female running to the stage.

since i cannot hug a naval diver, i hugged a balloon one. hee. also very cute.



this is me on the Lao Sai Tank. damn nice la, all the flags. (they are actually alphabets) and the LST is the biggest ship. and the longest queue too. midday sun.. very hot!!!


mika and me went to take picuture with this poor hot guy. i also dunno who/what he is. just check out his guns. and the only piece of exposed skin he has is his face and ears. so poor thing! and he look sianded cos all the lil kids posing with him. then he must very kang-kor squat down. so we decided to brighten his day. haha. look at his pleased smile... see, we so kind. its called charity, not cos we gian to take photo with uniformed guys. really really. charity.



ahh.. this is inside the LST. feels like we are inside a building right.. that lil boat there is the duck tour, which we are gian to take, but queue is so long! then the crowd of ppl in the Fast Craft Unit. look like illegal immigrants on an overcrowded boat. haha...

mika driving. haha.

this is us on the Fast Craft Unit. its really very fast. and the wind is crazy la. no more glamourous breezy hair. this is like hairdryer gone berserk. mika trying to eat air. hhaha. mao looks like he got stomachache. anyway FCU really very fast.

the end !!!